Tuesday, May 20, 2008

And tomorrow he will be four...

My stepson Nathan turns four tomorrow. We had a party for him Saturday which was fun. But even though he's not technically four until tomorrow, he's been acting that way for about six months now haha. He's in this weird transition from being a "baby" to being a "big boy" and I have to remember to pick and choose my battles. And my, did we have one tonight!

I monitor what my kids watch. I'm not a prude, I mean, they mostly watch Disney and Pixar movies and educational shows or Nick Jr. and the like, but I'm not above letting them watch a select episode or two of something like Futurama (the ones without a lot of sexual references and the like). No harm done. But I'll admit that he had seen a couple of episodes of Family Guy unintentionally, like if the TV was on when I left the room for a potty break or whatnot. Of course, I changed it when I realized what he was watching, because while I think Family Guy is hilarious, it does tend to rip the envelope into tiny pieces at times, so of course, my kids don't watch it.

Tonight, I sat down to watch a little TV before the kids went to bed, since I had watched the same two Blue's Clues tapes that my daughter LOVES literally most of the day. I turned it to TBS and it was at a commercial, so I left it on. I should explain that our remote is toast and that we change the channels the old fashioned way. I sat down to see what was on, and I had just put the baby to sleep. Family Guy came on, so I put the baby down in her "cocoon" on the couch (a little bed I fashioned out of Steve's grandmother's quilt and pillows), and got up to change the channel. As I was getting up, Nathan said "I'm gonna tell Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow that I got to watch Family Guy a little today" (Steve's parents), and I said "No, you don't have to tell them that, I'm turning the TV off because you're not allowed to watch adult cartoons." The second the tube flashed off, the whining started: "But I waaaaaannnnnnnnaaaawaaaaattttccchhhiiiiiittttt!". So I calmly told him "Stop whining, you know you can't watch it, get back to your coloring", which was followed by louder whining. I said "Nathan, if you wake the baby up, you're going to bed early" (this was 30 minutes before bedtime anyways), and he proceeded to scream louder, of course, and woke the baby. So I said "Okay, Brenna's awake now, you're going to bed" and was exposed to more screaming. I grabbed his puppy that he sleeps with and walked to the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. He followed, but screamed all the way. I was starting to lose my temper, so I tossed the puppy up the stairs and told him to go to bed. He cried and whined and I followed, but then Ellaina started following me, thinking it was bedtime. I called Steve to get him to stop Ellaina, and as I looked up at the top of the stairs where Nathan was, the world turned to slow motion: Jakers, our cat, was sitting in the doorway of the kids' room. Nathan was standing in front of him. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. I started to dart up the stairs saying "Noooooooo!" like in those slow motion scenes in action movies and he lifted his leg, brought it all the way back, and kicked Jakers, full bore, in the face. I immediately saw red. I have had problems with Nathan being mean to the cat before, but nothing like this. I got to the top of the stairs, and there may be those of you out there that are against spanking, but I felt it was necessary in this case. Once, when I was about 5, I was mad at my mom about something and I hit my cat out of anger, and she tore my butt up, but I never hit the cat again. I actually went to her crying and apologized, and the cat just looked at me like "Um, yeah" and walked off. haha So he got his butt popped a couple of times (I didn't beat the child haha), and of course, he was making a dramatic scene. Steve looked up and wanted to know what was going on to cause such a strong reaction and I told him that he had kicked Jakers in the face. Nathan went into his room, and I looked for the cat. He was huddled in the corner of my room, shaking. I checked him, he was alright, thank goodness, and I went to Nate's room and said "Don't you ever hurt Jakers again, now go to bed."

Of course, when I went downstairs, he yelled and whined from upstairs. I gave Ellaina her bath and got her ready for bed. We went upstairs and she picked out a couple of books to look at in bed, and I put her in her crib. Nathan sat up and said "Ashley, I'm this much mad at you" and held out his arms. Well, I have to admit, I channeled my inner 4 year old and said "Yeah? Well, I'm this much mad at you too" and held my arms out (you'd be surprised at how well you handle yourself around an angry child haha). Then I told him that he should not have kicked the cat, and then he asked for juice. I said "You don't get juice tonight because you hurt the kitty" and he yelled that it wasn't fair. I said goodnight to Ellaina, and as I was leaving, I said "Nathan, I still love you even though you are mad at me" and he started wailing and said "I don't want to be your friend no more!" I said "Fine, I still love you, goodnight" and went downstairs.

I explained to Steve what exactly happened and he understood. I was a nervous wreck, and had to take a smoke break to calm myself down. I heard Nathan yelling from his room, so when I was finished, I ninja-ed up there and stood in the doorway. I calmly said "Nathan, what is it?" and he started to cry and said "I still want to be your friend". I smiled and sat on the edge of his bed. I said "I'm sorry that I lost my temper like I did, but it really upset me that you hurt Jakers. You should never do that to him, no matter how mad you get at me, okay?" and he said between sniffles "Okay" and I asked him if he was sorry and he bawled again and said "Yeeeessss, I'm sorry!", so I hugged him and said "I'm sorry too, and I'm not mad at you. I still love you." and he said "I love you too!" and we made up. :-) I tucked him in, kissed his head, and went to Ellaina, who was standing up in her crib wanting another book that was on the floor. As I went to get it for her, he fussed at me and said "You shouldn't have thrown Puppy, he's just a baby and he could get hurt" and I smiled and said "You're right. I'm sorry I threw puppy. I won't do it again" and he started to fuss at me again, so I said "Now Nathan, I said I was sorry. You can't still fuss at me, I'm not fussing at you about Jakers" and he said "Okay" and I said goodnight, and went downstairs where I had to rock the baby for an hour and a half. *whew*

I think that's the biggest fight we've ever gotten in haha. I think I handled it alright though, sure, I lost my temper a few times, but who wouldn't? All I know is that I have one stubborn, obstinate, and opinionated 4 year old on my hands. :-) I'm glad that all is well now.

Until the next time he kicks the cat...haha.

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